Not Easy

 

Today was hard. Really hard. Honestly, the whole last 4 months have been really hard lol

Let me back up.

Having Kona has been amazing and we have all fallen in love with her. Mostly me. I truly love her. And I felt like she instantly belonged to our family. Since the beginning, I could honestly see her growing old with us. And because I felt like this, I have devoted SO much time to training her and being with her.

 A L O T of time. Like  A L O T.

This last weekend however, really really made me stop and think. 

It was just hard. We all were out together on Saturday. We had gotten a late lunch and did some shopping. I was tired. I didn't sleep much the night before and had to get up early to be with Kona and Zave. And so we walk in the door and all hell breaks lose. Zavier wakes up from sleeping in the car and is a living nightmare. The older kiddos let Kona out but because they are playing and saying hi for too long... she pees all over the floor, and Jimmy is literally already upstairs, getting ready for work. And I just thought to myself, do I really want to do this... for at least the next year or probably even more than that? 

I have been really feeling the weight and responsibility of Kona lately and how I already have to do so many other things and that maybe it was too much for me. Well it didn't get much better that night. Because literally 10 minutes after Zavier finally calmed down and everything got all clean (by me) I look over and see Kona grab Zavy's chocolate bar from his hands...

And I knew right then and there that I couldn't do it anymore. That Zavier and Kona as CUTE as they are together, realistically do not mix. It has just been too much for me. And so I took a nice little car ride. Called my mom and cried my heart out and then came home and put Kona on craigslist. And I have to say as dumb as it sounds it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. 

Within 20 minutes though, a sweet women messaged me and told me that they lived in Prescott on a farm, already had two other labs, and that her youngest son of 14 was looking for a lab for his own. It literally was like the best family Kona could possibly go to. I knew it was a sign from God that this was right.

Sure enough, Kona was sick all night (because of the chocolate) and so the two of us spent some last long hard hours together. And it probably sounds so gross and weird but I am actually so grateful for them. I feel like if she wasn't having diarrhea all night I would have called the whole thing off. It was literally a constant reminder that I needed to let her go.

The next morning, the whole family came to pick her up and they were really the cutest. So nice and so happy. And I cried the entire time. It was a hard day. And I miss her like crazy. 

Kona, you taught me more than a little puppy could ever know lol and I will always love you.

Wishing you the best life ever sweet girl.