Zavier Daniel Cox
Our little baby boy has finally arrived!!
Zavier Daniel Cox
6 pounds 2 ounces
19 1/2 Inches
Born at 12:58 pm
19 1/2 Inches
Born at 12:58 pm
And he is absolutely perfect.
And even though, he clearly has already made it a hobby for keeping us on our toes, we couldn't love him more if our lives depended on it.
We really thought this little guy was going to come at any second after 34 weeks. Honestly it was such a miracle that he stayed in for four more weeks. It took everything in me too, to not overdo it and try to get him out beforehand. Because man did I want him out! But I knew that with his conditions especially, that the longer he cooked the better. So I was in bed... a lot!
And as time passed, it got scarier and scarier going back up to Cottonwood.
Not only were we told over and over again, that it would be preferred to have him delivered with the whole NICU crew there awaiting his arrival, we were told that he most likely would have severe trouble breathing and eating, and that he had a very high chance of seizing soon after birth.
This made going to the hospital up here in Cottonwood basically off limits because they were not equipped to deal with issues like that.
So each and every drive back home from our doctor in Glendale, was like, "Please please, let us make it back to Phoenix on time, if I go into labor!"
I actually had several dreams of Jimmy and me in his patrol car, racing down to Phoenix. I also thought, there is a chance we become you tube famous, if we end up giving birth in Jimmy's DPS car lol.
But luckily for all of us, he didn't come out and our doctor decided at our 38 week appointment, that it was time. She told us that she wanted to schedule an induction 3 days later, late at night, so that baby would come during the day, with all the right people there for him.
It was crazy. I was so scared and excited at the same time. The last few weeks of pregnancy were harder than either of my other children. I was throwing up. I was having contractions on and off every day. And I was an emotional night mare.
It was difficult knowing and accepting that something was wrong with our baby boy and there was nothing that we could do about it.
Tuesday finally came and it was so nice to have his birth scheduled. I was able to leave the house super clean, I wasn't worried about our other kids as everything was planned, and it gave Jimmy and I time to try and soak some of our thoughts and emotions in. We both just had no idea what we were in for.
The doctor told us just three days earlier to plan on baby having to stay in NICU for at least 3 weeks.
So it was weird leaving our house and thinking that I may not see it again for weeks or even months.
We met a family online with a boy who has exactly what Zavier has, and he was in the NICU for 9 months until he finally got to go home. It was pretty hard swallowing that fact.
Well Tuesday night finally came and of course, I couldn't let go of my phone. They told us they would try and call as early as possible but after about 11pm, I started to get a bit discouraged. My mom told me to try and get some sleep so I went and joined Jimmy in bed and tried to sleep but it was almost impossible.
I was getting more and more scared. I can't even explain all the thoughts and fears that I had as this little boy's mother. Would he be able to eat? Would he look normal? Would I be able to hold him? Could he breathe on his own? Would he have seizures? What if he didn't make it? How could I possibly be ready to raise a special needs child? Why did the Lord choose us? The thoughts, fears, questions, were seriously endless. I actually started to not want to do this and eventually I almost didn't even want them to call.
Well finally at 330 in the morning, they called.
It was time.
I'll never forget that drive to the hospital with Jimmy. It was quiet and so dark. No cars were on the road. Both of us were petrified. We held hands tighter than ever the entire time and tried our best to keep it together.
It was hard to believe that we were finally going to meet our sweet son.
It wasn't until after 5 in the morning that I was gowned and in bed. And it wasn't until after 6 that I was hooked up to stuff. It seemed like everything was taking forever.
At around 930, my doctor came in and you could tell she was a little bit upset at the fact that they hadn't started me on pitocin yet. You could tell she really wanted this baby to come out during the day with the whole NICU staff there.
Finally sometime after 11 though, I had had an epidural and was on the pitocin. But at noon, I was still, only barely a four.
The way things were going, it looked like this baby wasn't coming for a while.
So Jimmy moved close to my bed and we started talking about who knows what. Both of us were done trying to sleep lol.
Well after about 30 minutes, after literally not feeling anything at all, I suddenly felt like I needed to push!
So Jimmy went and got the nurse, who came in and looked at me like I was a bit crazy, being that I was only a four, a half an hour ago. But she kindly checked me anyways.
Well right away she was calling the NICU team and my doctor, and told me not to push yet! I am not sure how but I was magically already a 10!
And I was not sure how I wasn't supposed to push! I felt like it was impossible not to and it actually felt like baby was at least partially out haha.
This is when everything got real. He was coming. Our baby was coming.
And I have never been so scared in my entire life. Ever.
I was so scared that I had Jimmy call my mom and tell her not to come (which I now feel terrible about) but I just had no idea what was going to happen and how baby was going to be. I didn't want anyone else there except Jimmy.
I kept looking at Jimmy and telling him I wasn't ready. He was an angel though and kept assuring me that we were and that I could do this. I couldn't stop looking at him. It helped me stay calm.
Well it didn't take long for all the doctors to get there (it was a full house of nurses and doctors in there) and as soon as I was permitted, I started pushing.
Again, I have never ever felt that kind of fear.
But it was kind of inevitable to get him out at this point and seriously after about 10 minutes of pushing (maybe even less) , our Zavier was here.
He was here.
He was out.
He was crying.
He was breathing.
He looked perfect.
He was perfect.
And before I knew it, our sweet baby boy was laying on top of me and all I could do was cry and stare at him in just awe.
He seriously was ... perfect.
It was a miracle.
He is our miracle.
It will always be one of the most amazing, spiritual, and special moments to us. It might even be the very top.
There is already so much more to his story but I will save this post for just his birth story.
We love you Zavier Daniel Cox.
You have changed our lives in so many ways already. And I am eternally grateful for the kind of love that you have brought our family.
You are living proof that miracles can happen.
We really thought this little guy was going to come at any second after 34 weeks. Honestly it was such a miracle that he stayed in for four more weeks. It took everything in me too, to not overdo it and try to get him out beforehand. Because man did I want him out! But I knew that with his conditions especially, that the longer he cooked the better. So I was in bed... a lot!
And as time passed, it got scarier and scarier going back up to Cottonwood.
Not only were we told over and over again, that it would be preferred to have him delivered with the whole NICU crew there awaiting his arrival, we were told that he most likely would have severe trouble breathing and eating, and that he had a very high chance of seizing soon after birth.
This made going to the hospital up here in Cottonwood basically off limits because they were not equipped to deal with issues like that.
So each and every drive back home from our doctor in Glendale, was like, "Please please, let us make it back to Phoenix on time, if I go into labor!"
I actually had several dreams of Jimmy and me in his patrol car, racing down to Phoenix. I also thought, there is a chance we become you tube famous, if we end up giving birth in Jimmy's DPS car lol.
But luckily for all of us, he didn't come out and our doctor decided at our 38 week appointment, that it was time. She told us that she wanted to schedule an induction 3 days later, late at night, so that baby would come during the day, with all the right people there for him.
It was crazy. I was so scared and excited at the same time. The last few weeks of pregnancy were harder than either of my other children. I was throwing up. I was having contractions on and off every day. And I was an emotional night mare.
It was difficult knowing and accepting that something was wrong with our baby boy and there was nothing that we could do about it.
Tuesday finally came and it was so nice to have his birth scheduled. I was able to leave the house super clean, I wasn't worried about our other kids as everything was planned, and it gave Jimmy and I time to try and soak some of our thoughts and emotions in. We both just had no idea what we were in for.
The doctor told us just three days earlier to plan on baby having to stay in NICU for at least 3 weeks.
So it was weird leaving our house and thinking that I may not see it again for weeks or even months.
We met a family online with a boy who has exactly what Zavier has, and he was in the NICU for 9 months until he finally got to go home. It was pretty hard swallowing that fact.
Well Tuesday night finally came and of course, I couldn't let go of my phone. They told us they would try and call as early as possible but after about 11pm, I started to get a bit discouraged. My mom told me to try and get some sleep so I went and joined Jimmy in bed and tried to sleep but it was almost impossible.
I was getting more and more scared. I can't even explain all the thoughts and fears that I had as this little boy's mother. Would he be able to eat? Would he look normal? Would I be able to hold him? Could he breathe on his own? Would he have seizures? What if he didn't make it? How could I possibly be ready to raise a special needs child? Why did the Lord choose us? The thoughts, fears, questions, were seriously endless. I actually started to not want to do this and eventually I almost didn't even want them to call.
Well finally at 330 in the morning, they called.
It was time.
I'll never forget that drive to the hospital with Jimmy. It was quiet and so dark. No cars were on the road. Both of us were petrified. We held hands tighter than ever the entire time and tried our best to keep it together.
It was hard to believe that we were finally going to meet our sweet son.
It wasn't until after 5 in the morning that I was gowned and in bed. And it wasn't until after 6 that I was hooked up to stuff. It seemed like everything was taking forever.
At around 930, my doctor came in and you could tell she was a little bit upset at the fact that they hadn't started me on pitocin yet. You could tell she really wanted this baby to come out during the day with the whole NICU staff there.
Finally sometime after 11 though, I had had an epidural and was on the pitocin. But at noon, I was still, only barely a four.
The way things were going, it looked like this baby wasn't coming for a while.
So Jimmy moved close to my bed and we started talking about who knows what. Both of us were done trying to sleep lol.
Well after about 30 minutes, after literally not feeling anything at all, I suddenly felt like I needed to push!
So Jimmy went and got the nurse, who came in and looked at me like I was a bit crazy, being that I was only a four, a half an hour ago. But she kindly checked me anyways.
Well right away she was calling the NICU team and my doctor, and told me not to push yet! I am not sure how but I was magically already a 10!
And I was not sure how I wasn't supposed to push! I felt like it was impossible not to and it actually felt like baby was at least partially out haha.
This is when everything got real. He was coming. Our baby was coming.
And I have never been so scared in my entire life. Ever.
I was so scared that I had Jimmy call my mom and tell her not to come (which I now feel terrible about) but I just had no idea what was going to happen and how baby was going to be. I didn't want anyone else there except Jimmy.
I kept looking at Jimmy and telling him I wasn't ready. He was an angel though and kept assuring me that we were and that I could do this. I couldn't stop looking at him. It helped me stay calm.
Well it didn't take long for all the doctors to get there (it was a full house of nurses and doctors in there) and as soon as I was permitted, I started pushing.
Again, I have never ever felt that kind of fear.
But it was kind of inevitable to get him out at this point and seriously after about 10 minutes of pushing (maybe even less) , our Zavier was here.
He was here.
He was out.
He was crying.
He was breathing.
He looked perfect.
He was perfect.
And before I knew it, our sweet baby boy was laying on top of me and all I could do was cry and stare at him in just awe.
He seriously was ... perfect.
It was a miracle.
He is our miracle.
It will always be one of the most amazing, spiritual, and special moments to us. It might even be the very top.
There is already so much more to his story but I will save this post for just his birth story.
We love you Zavier Daniel Cox.
You have changed our lives in so many ways already. And I am eternally grateful for the kind of love that you have brought our family.
You are living proof that miracles can happen.
He's BEAUTIFUL!
ReplyDeleteHe is beautiful and amazing. Loved how you were able to share your feelings.
ReplyDelete