Zavy's Neurosurgeon

Jimmy and I were pretty nervous going to Zavier's first neurosurgeon appointment. For one, they  called us the day after his first week check up and said that they might have detected hydrocephalus, which scared the heck out of us, and two, we didn't really know what to expect when talking to such an important kind of doctor. It's still just so crazy grasping the fact that our son even needs a pediactric neurosurgeon.

Honestly, it was pretty emotional for me even walking into the hospital. 

It was hard knowing that we had to be in that kind of atmosphere for our one and half week old baby. You just never think that type of life is going to be your's or your child's. Yet there we were, getting hospital bracelets, and knowing that this was now probably going to become the new "norm".

Though I should say, that the hospital, Cardon Children's Medical Center, where his neurosurgeon, Dr. Tian practices really is beautiful and very nice. We both liked it a lot.

First, Zavier was given another ultrasound. Poor little guy was only twelve days old and getting his second ultrasound. The tech guy was very nice though and Zavier slept through almost the entire thing. Jimmy and I were both very close to Zavier the whole time and both got teary when we saw some of the images. It is getting a little bit easier for us to see just how different Zavier's brain really looks.

After the ultrasound, we headed over to the pediatric neurology/neurosurgery unit and met with Dr. Tian. I think she took us both by surprise. She was young and very pretty. Long curly blonde hair. Not really what you think of when you think of a neurosurgeon. But we were very impressed and both of us like her a lot.

We went over the scans with her and once again, it just hit me so hard. I know that we have had so many tests done now, all confirming the same thing.

But for some reason, I still just keep thinking, that there is really nothing wrong with him! (Maybe something's wrong with me!) Ughh hearing this brilliant woman tell us that his scans were actually on the "severe" side hit me like a freight train. She showed us in detail why and it was so strange to me that his brain really is so different. I mean if you get a scan of over 30,000 people's brains, you would be able to pick out Zavier's, no problem. Anybody could.

It is without a shadow of a doubt now that Zavier has Dandy Walker Malformation and Complete Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum. 

I think it was super hard too because she kept telling us that he may still have a chance at having "somewhat of a normal life". To me, this kind of meant though, that his chances of a normal life are gone. I can't even tell you how hard that is to swallow. I mean, what is a "normal life" really though?... Just because he will be different does not mean he can't have an amazing life, and we know that.
I think it just feels tough because we keep being told that something is wrong with our beautiful baby boy over and over again, test after test. Every week for so long now, doctors keep telling us that something is "wrong" and it's hard.

However, on the upside, he is doing magnificent. No hydrocephalus! 

And so we are going to take it day by day. 

He is such a miracle and I want to celebrate that forever.

We have to go back in a month unless there are signs that something might be going on.

Zave! You are amazing! 

And we already know that you are going to be the strongest person we will ever know.