First Day of First Grade

So today was one of the hardest days I think of my entire life.

I mean I knew it was going to be hard. I prepared myself for what I thought would be the worst...

But I clearly wasn't ready for what happened.

Maybe it's because at home, the morning was so smooth sailing that I let my guards down a little.

Because it really was so wonderful this morning at home. We got up early, we had bacon, eggs, and toast. We had lots of extra time for pictures. AND we even had an excited little first grader. 

Lexi was seriously a tad bit excited. She was happy. She was energized, and you could tell that part of her really wanted to go back. 

There was also a fun different vibe going on too because the roofers had started working on the new roof. 

Anyways, it was great getting in the car, it was great getting to school, it was even great walking to the classroom. 

But then it started to get a little choppy. As soon as we walked in and it was time for Lexi to sit in her seat, she became extremely hesitant. 

Her seat was next to a boy Kason, a very sweet little boy with Spina Bifida, in a wheel chair, who she knew from her Kindergarten class. And even though I think Lex would have been hesitant sitting next to anybody, I think sitting next to him made her a little bit more worried, simply because he was making loud noises and somewhat crying at the time. Poor thing.

Anyways, it took some time to get her to even sit down. But once she sat down she calmed down a bit and eventually started to color the picture that was there. I remained by her side for a while and tried to get her to smile and laugh. 

But before we knew it, almost all the parents had come and gone and it was obvious that it was time for me to say goodbye. And as soon as I stood up, Lexi was in complete tears. She also had grabbed on to me like she was grabbing on to something to save her life. And the more I tried to move towards the door, the harder she tugged at me not to. Ughh, it was so hard to not just start crying myself. 

So eventually the teacher's aid, who Lexi knew from last year, had to literally pull Lexi off of me as I left the room. 

And here is when I cried. All the way to the car.

It was terrible. And I think it was mostly so terrible because I knew that switching schools was going to be 10 times worse. 

I hated the fact that she was going to have to do this again. In a new school. Knowing no one. Ughh it is the worst. It just kills me.

Anyways, on the up side, she came home with a smile. And said that it was a pretty good day. The teacher's aid also told me that she only cried for a minute after I had left. 

I made sure to have flowers, frosted sugar cookies, and pizza bagels waiting Lexi's arrival.

Here's to hoping tomorrow's send off is a lot less terrible!